amplifiedmouse

hello livejournal, and friends,

my name is tristan smith. i'm 19 years old, 20 in two weeks. i have brown hair, i cut it short, then i always let it grow until i can't stand it anymore and then i cut it again. i get a haircut about every 5 months or so. i weigh around 190 lbs. i blame my families genes and the fact that i never work out. i should work out since health problems run in my family. oh well. i went to greenbriar elementary. i broke my collarbone when i was 7 years old on my cousins birthday, June 14th. tomorrow is the anniversary of that. i went to north side middle school. nothing bad happened to me then, it was only 2 years. what do you expect? i graduated high school in 2001 then started going to ivy tech in anderson indiana, where i live, for about 3 months. then i quit because: a) i hated it b) i wasn't ready to start school c) my girlfriend dumped me. i haven't gone back to school yet, although i applied to ball state university and i have to send them my transcript from high school, which is in my car...i'm just lazy. i should probably do that. my main love in life is music. i like punk, hardcore, "emo" (i put emo in quotations because i don't classify it as a genre), indie, pop-punk, new wave, 80's, rock, pretty much anything and everything. my favorite bands are sigur ros, yellowcard, and modest mouse. green day got me into liking 'punk' music and blink-182 fueled it further. if it weren't for those two bands, i may like hip-hop music now. that would be really weird for me. i used to play in a band called short of a dollar but i recently quit because i didn't like playing bass. i like playing guitar. i've been playing guitar for 5 years on July 10th, the day i got my first guitar. it was a crappy lotus stratocopy with a 10 watt kustom amp. i got it from 'music-g-round' in muncie. a year later i got a les paul, still with the crappy amp. then i got a crate amp for christmas one year, which i still have. then my mom got me a fender start for my birthday. i was in another band called the apology, i played guitar and i liked it a lot, but we 'broke up'. so that was that. i've lived in the same house my whole life, i think that is why i haven't moved out. it'll feel weird. and i have no money to move out. i don't have a job currently, and i'm not in school. i'm not in a band. so basically i'm worthless to the world, with the exception of my friends, who, i hope, care about me. because i care about them a lot. they've been there for me. especially 6 months ago when my mom passed away. i cannot thank them enough for all that they did for me. 9 months ago my mom had an appendectomy and later that week they found a trace of cancer in her blood and they traced it to her cervix. she went through a lot of treatments at the IU hospital in November, radiation. she never took chemo because her body was too weak to take it. in November i also saw sigur ros in detroit, i never told anyone this but during 'njosnavelin' i kept thinking about her and not knowing if she was ok. and the fact that she could be dying and i wouldn't know anything about it. so i starting crying really hard. because of that and the fact that it was the most beautiful thing my ears have ever heard live. we got back and she was ok, i did call home that night to see if everything was fine. and it was. about a month later she was moved back to anderson because they couldn't do anything else for her. she basically knew she wasn't going to live very much longer so she made recordings for her family. which was played at the funeral, except mine. my aunt gave me the tape after the funeral, i have yet to listen to it because i don't think i'm emotionally ready to listen and hear her voice again. i don't talk to my father because he thought that alcohol was more important than me when my mom was pregnant with me, so i think anything else is more important than he is. i don't really care if i speak to him ever again. she left me 30,000 dollars, and with that she wanted me to get a new car, a car that i wanted. so i got the car that i had wanted for 3 years, a honda insight. yes, the hybrid car. i love it. but i would trade it back if i could have one more day with my mom. and i'm sure if michelle is reading this she's crying by now, cos i almost am. i'm sorry about that mickey. i have a girlfriend, her name is drew frazier. she's korean, i'm a sucker for the hot asians. she speaks in korean sometimes and i have no idea what she's saying. i used to have a 2 goldfish. i won one at a fair and i got the other the next day so the first one wouldn't be lonely. we got a new water pump and my mom changed the water in the fishbowl and there was still chemicals in the water and it killed them. she was really upset about that. i told her it was ok and it was an accident. usually, fish float to the top. but the bigger fish i had sunk to the bottom...it was weird. then about 4 months later, my aunt gave me a cat for christmas, i named her frisky because she was really frisky when she was young. well...she's not so frisky 12 years later. she has diabetes and FIV, the feline version of HIV, she gets 6 units of insulin every 12 hours. but she's worth it. i'll be really upset when she dies. i built my computer with the help of grant builta. its about 2 years old now. it still does what its supposed to. i like it. that was my random comment in this entry. i like to take pictures. i only use digital because i'm poor and can't afford a nice slr camera and film. i like to play video games, but only on pc because i suck at console games now. oops. my favorite color is blue. i want a blue guitar. i used to have a lot of cds and dvds but i had them all in one big thing along with my computer software and ps2 games, and that got stolen in a church parking lot. that sucked. i've moved on from that though. i basically think livejournal is pointless now, it was fun for a long time, but then people started getting mad at each other. and fighting over pointless crap. and i hate fighting. its the stupidest thing in the world. if it wasn't for livejournal people would still be friends and i could hang out with some people around other certain people. and i'm sure you guys know the people i'm talking about. you guys should really kiss and make up. its not worth losing what could be a great friendship over petty fighting. don't burn bridges you may have to cross:

'So tell me is this world we live in all right
Why does every conversation end in a fight?
Why does every fight keep us apart day and night?
Cause I'm trying to see the sun rise today' - mest

so livejournal, that was my life pretty much up to date. this has been the most i've ever written about my life in anything. it will probably be the most i ever write about my life in anything, ever. if you read all this, i commend you. thank you very much for caring enough about me to read my stream of thoughts. i'm not sure why i decided to write this, i guess i read justins journal that one night and thought that would be a really cool thing to do. thank you justin.

good night livejournal,

my name is tristan