amplifiedmouse

The past few days have been really stressful. Star & I decided that we really weren't happy with our relationship and we're taking a break.

However, in all my past experiences, a "break" means "break up". But we'll see how this one goes.

We decided it mutually even though it still always sucks. She really is a wonderful girl & I do love her to pieces. But we really are at two different places in our lives. She's ready to settle down & I'm still a kid at heart. Yes, I know I have some issues I have to work on with this. I need to do a bit of searching inside myself to find what I really want & what will truly make me happy. My mom's last wishes were for me to be happy in whatever I do. And I'm scared & feel awful that that isn't Star right now.

Maybe I just need to take some time to really reevaluate where I am & what I'm doing with my life. Which is basically nothing right now. I love where I work & who I work with. That's a little of my problem. I feel bad for leaving them because I know how hard it would be to find someone who is actually willing to learn all the stuff that I've learned in the past four years. I've always told them that I wanted to interview my replacement. But that never goes over well.

Over the past few months I've realized that I'm really not happy with where I am. Location, specifically. Star brought up a good point when I mentioned that to her. She said that "where you live is only as good as you make it." She mentioned how she grew to hate Georgia even though she loved it at first. & it's also why she doesn't want to move to Nashville because she's afraid it will lose what it is to her. Which, for her, that would suck. But, on the other hand, she's had these experiences with living somewhere far away. I have not. I've lived in the same place for twenty four years. It blows. Whenever I do move, it's always like ten miles away. Don't get me wrong, I love who I've lived with and it's been great. But it's still Indiana. Blah. There were nights where I would regret not going to Arizona when I had the chance. I know I still have the chance to go. But I really don't know what I want at this point. Maybe I should go. Maybe I should go some place even further where no one even knows me. The worst that can happen is that I hate it & I come back. And with that, I give you a poll.

Poll #1025274 Should I?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

Should I move out of state?

View Answers

Yes
8 (38.1%)

No
1 (4.8%)

I don't care
0 (0.0%)

Pizza
1 (4.8%)

Maybe, do what your heart says.
11 (52.4%)

Vote away.

Hopefully everything works out the way it should for everyone. Something has to change soon because I'm starting to feel the way I did last winter. That sucked.

I went to the park today and walked around.

I saw a wedding.

I ran through a bunch of spiderwebs as I was chasing what turned out to be an eastern garter snake. (Lame)

I came out on the wrong end of the trails so I had to walk about half a mile back to my car on the street.

High point: I saw an Australian Shepherd that was super adorable and the epitome of what I want in one.

I came home and slept.

I'm always so tired.


With a gun barrel in your mouth you speak only in vowels.



It's 1,800 miles.

Lately I've been having this hard time typing in my gmail password. My right arm muscle has been a little twitchy since I got ringworm.

And no, I wasn't kidding about having that. I'm still not sure how I got it.

Today there was a dumbass guy in the shop that wanted to see the yellow anaconda. After warning him that it was aggressive, he still said he wanted to see it. So I put the glove on & start handling it. It starts coming towards my face, so I take my left hand and block it from coming up to me. Of course, it tags my hand. As I'm bleeding profusly from the anticoagulant, I notice something right below my knuckle on my middle finger. The skin is raised. Oh, well look at that. I have a damn anaconda tooth in my skin. How awesome am I? Not very. I knew that though.

Star was in Nashville all weekend. She got home at around midnight. She wants to move to Nashville. But she also says that's just a dream she has. I, personally, hate the midwest & grow more tired of it every day. She said she had an amazing weekend with a lot of amazing talks with friends. So that's good.

I love Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

I dunno. She has a lot on her mind. I know we both do, actually. I do love her a lot though. I'm gonna go put something on my ringworm & tend to the holes in my left hand.

Tristan Smith's photostream.

Oddly enough, it's not me. I just took some online quiz thing that made me google myself and that's what I found. Go far enough into that photostream and you'll get to see what eemo is in Korean. I found it kinda cute/funny that he likes reptiles and wants to be an entomologist. I really liked bugs as a kid and now grew into herps.

Not herpes, though.

However, I think I have ringworm.

FTL!

I lost about a quarter of my left big toe's toenail on Saturday. That sucked.

I love Star.

I hate Indiana. Looking for a new job here is like just prolonging someones life on life support. I think it should be leaving time soons now plzkthx.

Bear on Man vs. Wild is in Iceland. And it's freaking gorgeous as it always is in the pictures I've seen.

Or "mjöög falleg" as the natives there would say. One of the few things I remember how to say in Icelandic.