amplifiedmouse

I'm the new-old-employee of Night Stalkers Pet Emporium


The DNR is stupid.

And so is Sunny.



Sunny being more stupid.

GO FUCK YOURSELF 2005!!!!!!!


Happy New Year everyone!!!


I'm pretty drunk right now.


Thank you Chris, Bethany, Smitty, and Kyle.


WOOT!!!!

K, Bye

So the Scientologists didn't freeze me and put me in a volcano.

That's good.

I had a really hard time finding the place because I was expecting it to be an actual building...not a house.

I had to call them to actually get directions to the place. Thank L. Ron Hubbard that my phone allows me to check my e-mail.


It also allows me to look at porn, but that's another post.

I was also sad that I couldn't take a picture of this place since it was in a house.

So I go up to the door and ring the bell and this hefty guy comes to greet me. His name is Ernie Lehman, by the way. He went in to talk to me about my personality test. He mentioned my high points first. How I'm good at communicating with people and I make friends easily. But then he mentioned that I go through bouts of depression and worthlessness.

Damn these evil body thetens.

Shockingly, he didn't recommend that I take a course (that costs money.)

He said I should read two books, Self Analysis & Scientology: A New Slant On Life. Both of which he gave to me. I guess it's like a Scientology starter course or something. I'm sure they get them free from the L. Ron Hubbard foundation.

He asked me how I found out about Scientology and what I knew about it. At this point, it was really hard for me NOT to bring up Evil Lord Xenu and other things such as Scientology-kills.org and whyaretheydead.net. But I didn't. I also didn't want to say I knew about Scientology from South Park, so I used the old, "I took an online quiz and it said I would best be suited for Scientology and after hearing Tom Cruise talk about it, I wanted to learn more."

By the way, that quiz said I should be a part of the Unitarian Universalism Church. Which is a belief in pretty much nothing from what I've read.

After he talked to me about the areas I should work on, he showed me the classroom. Which had three people studying while I was there. We spoke for a couple minutes down there then he took me upstairs to watch a DVD on Dianetics. (Whose website is down at the time of writing.)

I watched the video and learned more than I ever wanted to know about the "Analytic Mind" and the "Reactive Mind".

You know when you hear an alarm clock on a tv show or movie and it sends you up a wall? That's your reactive mind coming into play. It takes you back to a place you don't want to go. So you need to have Auditing sessions to handle this.

I don't know how anyone can forget the sound of an alarm clock, though.

The auditor is supposed to read from Dianetics under Book 3. Yes, it's set up like the Bible. Which, I guess, makes sense because to Scientologists, Dianetics is their Bible.

As an Auditor, there are ten steps you're supposed to go through:

1. Assure patient he will know everything that happens.
2. Count until he closes his eyes.
3. Install canceller.
4. Return him to a period in the past.
5. Work with file clerk to get data.
6. Reduce all engrams contacted so that no charge remains.
7. Bring patient to present time.
8. Be sure he is in present time.
9. Give him canceller word.
10. Restore full awareness of his surroundings.

No, I didn't memorize or write them down. I downloaded the e-book of Dianetics along with a lot of other pointless Scientology stuff.

After the video was over, he asked if I was interested in an auditing session. At this point, I figured he would ask for money. But he said it was free when I brought up the fact that I wasn't too sure. Previous to this, he mentioned a free lecture next Wednesday at 7. I told him I would come back then and tell him my decision. So of course I'm going to do it. I'm really going to push this as far as I can without paying any money. As soon as the money comes into play, I'm gone.

The experience wasn't bad...but it was different. He had a bunch of awards on the wall and some pictures of L. Ron Hubbard. Which creeps me out cause he was a "creepy old man that lived on a boat with only young boys." As Kyle said on South Park.

So, I guess I'm going back next week to see how it goes. It should be very funny though.

( books )

Edit: As of January 24th, 2008, I no longer have the pictures of the books as I was stupid for using Fileh.com when I posted this. Also, I never did go back as I didn't really feel comfortable there.